

(GASPS) So, what’s empathy and why is it VERY totally different than sympathy? Empathy fuels connection. Sympathy drives disconnection. It’s totally attention-grabbing. Theresa Wiseman is a nursing scholar who studied very numerous professions the place empathy is related and got here up with 4 qualities of empathy. Perspective taking – capacity to take the attitude of one other particular person, or recognise their perspective as their fact. Staying out of judgment – not straightforward while you get pleasure from it as a lot as most of us do. (AUDIENCE CHUCKLES) Recognising emotion in different individuals, then speaking that. Empathy is feeling WITH individuals. I all the time consider empathy as this type of sacred house. When somebody’s in a deep gap and so they shout from the underside… ..And we glance and we are saying, “Hey!” And climb down… Sympathy is, “Ooh!” (LAUGHTER) “It is dangerous, uh-huh?” (LAUGHTER) “Uh… No. You need a sandwich?” Empathy is a alternative and it is a weak alternative. So as to join with you, I’ve to attach with one thing in myself that is aware of that feeling. Hardly ever, if ever, does an empathic response start with, “A minimum of…” (LAUGHTER) Yeah. And we do it on a regular basis as a result of, what? Somebody shared one thing with us that is extremely painful and we’re making an attempt to “silver lining” it. I do not suppose that is a verb, however I am utilizing it as one. We’re making an attempt to place a silver lining round it. So, “I had a miscarriage.” “A minimum of you will get pregnant.” “I feel my marriage is falling aside.” “A minimum of you may have a wedding.” (LAUGHTER) “John’s getting kicked out of college.” “A minimum of Sarah is an A-student.” One of many issues we do typically within the face of very tough conversations is we attempt to make issues higher. If I share one thing with you that is very tough, I would moderately you say, “I do not even know what to say. I am simply so glad you instructed me.” As a result of the reality is, hardly ever can a response make one thing higher. What makes one thing higher is connection.
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