6 Secrets You Can Use to Win Any Exchange | Chris Voss | Lewis Howes

Reference: Lewis Howes. (2020, July 17). The 6 SNEAKY SECRETS You Can Use To WIN ANY EXCHANGE | Chris Voss & Lewis Howes [Video]. YouTube.

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Unlock the secrets to winning any negotiation with Chris Voss & Lewis Howes' 6 sneaky tips!

In this video, Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator, and Lewis Howes discuss the 6 sneaky secrets you can use to win any exchange. From being nice and gentle, to giving the other side the illusion of control, to asking how questions, to focusing on respect, these strategies can help you get the upper hand in any business or life negotiation. Tom Girardi, voted top trial attorney in California several times, is an example of someone who is able to remain relentlessly nice, while uncovering emails and getting people to drop their guard. These strategies can help you be assertive without being aggressive and gain the best outcome for both you and your negotiation partner.

Learning Outline

1. Be nice instead of aggressive when negotiating to gain the upper hand.
2. Give the other side the illusion of control.
3. Use open-ended questions to guide the conversation.
4. Take what the other side wants and make it the path to what you want.
5. Respect the other side to make sure they feel heard.
6. Be aware of the alpha type who needs to win and be respected.

Instructional Content

The art of negotiation is a skill that requires both finesse and confidence. Whether it’s winning an exchange or getting what you want in business and life, knowing how to effectively negotiate can be a powerful tool. In this video, former FBI negotiator Chris Voss and Lewis Howes share with us six sneaky secrets that can be used to help you get anything you want.

The first secret is to be nice. By being nice to the other side, you can easily get them to drop their guard and become more manageable. This can be accomplished by being charming and not resorting to aggressive tactics. As an example, Chris shares the story of top trial attorney Tom Girardi. Tom is incredibly nice to the other side and uses this to his advantage by getting them to uncover emails that could incriminate them without them realizing it.

The second secret is to give the other side the illusion of control. By allowing the other side to think they are in control, you can gain an advantage and get them to talk without feeling pressure. This is a great way to get them to open up and reveal information that you can use to your advantage.

The third secret is to ask questions. Asking questions is key to any negotiation. It allows you to feel out the other side and get them to open up without feeling like you’re pressuring them. It also allows you to get information from them that they may not have otherwise revealed.

The fourth secret is to be aware of the type of negotiator you are dealing with. There are two main types of negotiators: control freaks and assertives. Control freaks want to be in charge and will not back down until they get what they want. Assertives, on the other hand, want to be respected and want to make sure that their opinion is heard. Knowing how to handle each type will give you a better chance of success in the negotiation.

The fifth secret is to take what you want and make it the path to what the other side wants. By doing this, you can make it easier for the other side to get what they want, while at the same time getting what you want.

The final secret is to be demanding. This may seem counterintuitive, but it is important to show the other side that you are serious about what you want. This will help to ensure that they take your demands seriously and will help to ensure

Communication

Win Any Exchange: Communication

Negotiation, empathy, and emotional intelligence are all key communication skills that can be improved with practice and development. By understanding the concepts in the video and transcript provided, learners can gain an understanding of how to use these skills in their own communication.

Negotiation is essential in any successful interaction, as it allows both parties to reach an agreement that is beneficial to both. Learning to negotiate requires an understanding of the needs and perspectives of the other party, which can be achieved through empathy. Empathy involves understanding the feelings and thoughts of the other party and being able to respond to them in an appropriate way. This can be a challenge in negotiations as it requires putting aside one's own wants and needs in order to focus on the other person's feelings.

Emotional intelligence is also an important skill in negotiation, as it allows one to recognize, understand, and manage their own emotions as well as those of the other party. This allows for better communication, as it allows one to respond in a way that is appropriate for the situation. It also allows for the recognition of any potential triggers and the ability to respond in a way that does not further the conflict.

In order to improve communication skills in learners, it is important to focus on the specifics of each scenario. Understanding the context and the needs of each party is essential, as it can help learners to understand how to respond in a more effective manner. It is also important to focus on the emotional aspects of the conversation, as this can help to create an environment of understanding and trust. Finally, providing an opportunity for learners to practice these skills in a safe environment can help to ensure that they are able to use them in real-life situations.

Negotiation

Reveal Negotiation Wins?

Negotiation is a key skill for personal growth and professional development. Whether you’re in business, law, or any other field, the ability to successfully negotiate can make all the difference. In this video, Chris Voss and Lewis Howes share six sneaky secrets to winning any exchange.

The first is to be nice. By being friendly and understanding, you can disarm the other party and create an atmosphere of collaboration. Tom Girardi, a top trial attorney in California, is an example of this. He’s incredibly nice and charming, and it often leads to him uncovering emails that other attorneys wouldn’t find.

The second is to give the other side the illusion of control. If you try to take control of the situation, it can backfire. Instead, let the other party feel like they’re in charge and they’ll be more likely to cooperate.

The third is to ask “how?” instead of “yes” or “no.” If you ask how to do something, you’re more likely to get the response you’re looking for.

The fourth is to recognize when the other party needs to be respected. If they feel disrespected, they won’t be willing to cooperate.

The fifth is to take what you want and make it the path to what they want. If you can do this, you’ll be able to make a deal that’s beneficial to both parties.

Finally, the sixth is to remember that everything in life is a negotiation. Whether it’s with a business partner, family member, or someone else, you can use these strategies to come away with a win-win solution.

Empathy

Unlock Empathy's Power?

Empathy is a critical skill for personal and professional success. It's no surprise that the video and transcript from Chris Voss and Lewis Howes emphasize the importance of being nice and gentle in negotiations. Empathy allows us to better understand the needs and motivations of the people around us, giving us the power to build relationships, create win-win solutions, and get what we want.

When approaching negotiations, it's important to give the other side the illusion of control. Tom Girardi, a top trial attorney in California, does this instinctively by being nice and engaging in conversation. He uses this technique to get people to drop their guard, allowing him to uncover emails that could otherwise spell trouble in a lawsuit.

Empathy also helps us better understand the motivations of people who may appear to be overly controlling. In many cases, they may be seeking respect and understanding more than an outright win. By showing empathy and taking the time to get to know their underlying needs and goals, they may be more likely to soften their demands.

Statistics show that having a high EQ (emotional intelligence) is associated with higher earnings, greater job satisfaction, and more successful relationships. With the right skill set, you can use empathy to your advantage in any negotiation. By understanding the person across the table, you can create a situation that benefits both parties and achieve the most favorable outcome.

Emotional Intelligence

Unlock EQ Advantage?

The key to professional and personal success is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage one's own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. As demonstrated in the video, it is an important skill for successful negotiation. By understanding the emotions of both the negotiator and the person being negotiated with, the negotiator can use this knowledge to reach a positive outcome.

When negotiating, it is important to remain calm and composed, and avoid becoming aggressive. As Chris Voss, the FBI negotiator in the video, explains, it is possible to be certain without being aggressive. Tom Girardi, a highly successful trial attorney, demonstrated this by being relentlessly nice and charming. People are more likely to cooperate if they like the person they are negotiating with.

Effective negotiation also requires understanding the other side's point of view, and being able to put oneself in their shoes. It is important to understand the other person's needs and objectives, and to make sure that both parties benefit from the negotiation. This can be achieved by asking questions and actively listening to the answers.

Finally, it is important to give the other side the illusion of control. This can be achieved by acknowledging their point of view, and asking them how they think a solution should be reached. This will demonstrate respect and understanding, and can often result in the other party dropping their guard and becoming more cooperative.

By understanding and applying the principles of emotional intelligence, it is possible to be successful in both personal and professional negotiations. By having the right attitude, understanding the other person's point of view, and giving them the illusion of control, it is possible to reach successful outcomes in any negotiation.

For Learners

Watching this video will benefit you in many ways. First, it will help you learn negotiation strategies that can help you get anything you want in life. This can give you an advantage in personal and professional relationships, leading to greater success. Second, it will teach you how to use non-aggressive tactics to get your point across and gain the upper hand in a negotiation. Third, it will show you how to be nice and gentle yet assertive to get what you want, without sacrificing respect or losing your control.

Not learning the content of this video would have a negative impact on your personal and professional life. You will miss out on the negotiation strategies that could help you get what you want, and you may end up in a situation where you are not in control. Additionally, you will miss out on the opportunity to learn how to be assertive without being aggressive, which is an important skill for any successful negotiator.

Using the ‘what’s in it for me’, ‘what’s in it for them’, ‘what’s in it for us’, and ‘what’s in it for the world’ approach to learning the content of this video will benefit you as a learner for personal growth and professional development. For you, learning the content of this video will give you the skills to get anything you want in life. For them, it will help you achieve success in personal and professional relationships. For us, it will result in improved communication and understanding between people. For the world, it will create a more harmonious environment, where everyone is working together for the betterment of all.

For Employers

As an employer, watching this video and understanding the concepts within it can be an extremely valuable asset. By learning the secrets shared by Chris Voss and Lewis Howes, you can better understand the dynamics of negotiation and use them to your advantage. Being able to successfully negotiate can help you differentiate yourself from your competitors, and get the best possible outcomes for both you and your customers.

The concept of ‘What’s in it for the present, the past, and the future’ that is explored in the video can be extremely powerful when it comes to negotiations. This approach allows you to show your clients and customers that you are looking out for their best interests, both now and in the future. This can be a great way to build trust and loyalty between you and your clients, which can lead to long-term relationships.

The skills you and your team can gain from this video can also be helpful when it comes to problem-solving and finding creative solutions. By understanding the negotiation process and the ways that it can be manipulated and used to your advantage, you can find innovative solutions to problems and come out ahead.

Overall, watching this video and learning the secrets it contains can be a great way to set yourself and your team apart from the competition, build relationships with your customers, and find creative solutions to problems. With the right knowledge and skills, you can become a more successful negotiator and a more successful employer.

Career Path

Completing a course in Communication based on Negotiation, Empathy and Emotional Intelligence competencies will help people find their job or get promoted at their current employment. Creating career-defining credentials and leveling up skills is critical to becoming more employable, promotable, and purposeful. By watching this video and transcript, people can learn the 6 SNEAKY SECRETS to WIN ANY EXCHANGE. Specifically, they can learn the power of being nice, giving the other side the illusion of control, and using how questions to take what they want and make it a path to what the other person wants.

By following these tactics and tips, learners can close their Skills Gap toward Meaningful Work in the future. They can gain enhance income-producing skills and become more employable in high growth industries. With strong persuasive language, life long learners can make themselves more attractive to employers and achieve their career goals.

Meaning

"Correction is an addiction; might as well be one of the seven deadly sins." - Unknown

This famous quote is a great reminder of the power of communication in negotiation. As demonstrated in the video, the secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is to give the other side the illusion of control. This means that, rather than being aggressive, you should be nice and gentle in order to disarm them and get them to drop their guard.

Tom Girardi is a perfect example of this. He is a top trial attorney in California and he uses his charm and kindness to get people to say things accidentally or uncover emails that incriminate them. This shows the importance of being nice and gentle in a negotiation, as it can be more effective than aggression.

Not only does this quote demonstrate the power of communication, but it also shows the importance of having a positive attitude. If you are always correcting others, you will be seen as demanding and controlling. This can hurt relationships and make it difficult to negotiate. The key is to be gentle and give the other person the illusion of control. This is the key to winning any negotiation.

Takeaway

The most important key takeaway from this video is that being nice and gentle is the key to gaining the upper hand in negotiations. As Chris Voss reveals, Tom Girardi, a top trial attorney, is a master of using this approach to get what he wants without aggression. Through kindness, he gets people to drop their guard and say things accidentally that he can use to his advantage. This shows how effective a non-confrontational approach can be.

The 6 SNEAKY SECRETS You Can Use To WIN ANY EXCHANGE | Chris Voss & Lewis Howes

Negotiations and exchanges don't have to be aggressive. In this video, Chris Voss, an FBI negotiator, teaches us six secrets to getting anything we want in life. For example, Tom Girardi, a top trial attorney, is nice and gentle in his negotiations, which makes the other side drop their guard. Respect is very important in negotiations - if you show respect and understand the other person's point of view, they will usually soften their stance. You can also give the other side the illusion of control - this way they feel like they are in control and won't struggle with you. Lastly, it's important to ask questions like “How am I supposed to do this?” so that you can get to the root of what they want and come to an agreement.

Video Quotes

"Correction is an addiction might as well be one of the seven deadly sins" - Chris Voss
"The nicer you are the more moveable you could be" - Chris Voss
"The secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is giving the other side the illusion of control" - Chris Voss

Related Quotes

"The best way to get somebody to do something is to make them think it was their own idea." -Chris Voss

"You have to be the one driving the conversation and setting the tone, rather than them driving it and setting the tone for you." -Lewis Howes

"You want to be very aware of the other person's emotional needs, and match those back to them in a way that is empathetic." -Chris Voss

Competencies

1. Negotiation
2. Empathy
3. Emotional Intelligence

Learning Outcomes

1. Knowledge: Explain the importance of being nice and gentle in negotiations.
2. Comprehension: Describe the techniques of a successful negotiator, such as Tom Girardi.
3. Application: Utilize an open-ended question to give the other side the illusion of control.
4. Analysis: Analyze how people can get into trouble by writing and sending emails that they shouldn't.
5. Synthesis: Create a plan to deal with a controlling alpha negotiator, respecting their need to be heard.
6. Evaluation: Evaluate the effectiveness of the “How” questions as a tool for negotiating.

Sample Answers

1. The main takeaway from the video is that you don't have to be aggressive to get what you want in a negotiation. Being nice and gentle and giving the other side the illusion of control will help you gain an upper hand in the negotiation.

2. Tom Girardi is a great example of a successful negotiator who is also incredibly nice. He uses this to his advantage by being so likable that people drop their guard, allowing him to uncover emails that show wrongdoing.

3. To negotiate effectively with an alpha type, it is important to focus on respect and making sure that you understand where the other person is coming from. This will help them feel heard and respected, which may lead to them softening up on what they want.

Chris Voss

Chris Voss is a negotiation expert, author and former FBI hostage negotiator. He is the CEO and Founder of the Black Swan Group, a negotiation and consulting firm. Voss has used his decades of experience to develop a range of negotiation techniques, which he shares in his books, articles and lectures. He is also the author of the bestselling book Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It. Voss is an adjunct professor at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, and an instructor at the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School. He is also a regular contributor to Forbes, Entrepreneur and Fortune.Chris Voss

Learning Design

Negotiation, empathy, and emotional intelligence are important competencies that are necessary for effective communication. Negotiation is the process of reaching an agreement between two or more parties by discussing their respective interests and finding common ground. It helps people to understand each other’s perspectives and come to a mutually beneficial solution. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It is essential for effective communication because it allows us to understand the other person’s perspective and to respond in a way that is helpful and appropriate to the situation. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and regulate our own emotions, as well as those of others. It is important for effective communication because it allows us to be aware of our own emotions and to respond in a way that is reflective of our goals and values.

Assessment

Q. According to Tom Girardi, what is the key to effective negotiation?

A. Being aggressive
B. Being assertive
C. Being nice and gentle
D. Being controlling

Answer: C. Being nice and gentle

Questions

Questions:

1. What are the six sneaky secrets to winning any exchange according to Chris Voss?
2. How can someone use the concept of being nice and gentle to get what they want in a negotiation?
3. What kind of strategy should someone use when negotiating with a control-oriented alpha?
4. What would be an example of using an open-ended question to further the negotiation?
5. What tips can someone use to get the other side to drop their guard in a negotiation?
6. What are the advantages of being relentless but nice during a negotiation?
7. How can someone use the concept of giving the other side the illusion of control to gain an advantage?
8. What kind of tactics can someone use to get the other side to reveal information they are trying to keep hidden?

Keywords

FBI Negotiator, "Chris Voss", Tom Girardi, Illusion of Control, "seven deadly sins", Respectfully Heard Out, "Alpha Type Negotiator", "Future Collaboration", "Control Oriented Ghost", "Drop Your Guard", "Accidentally Uncovering", "The Last Impression", "Donald Trump Style", "New York Attack Dog", "Barricading the Bank", "Nice Unrelenting Opponent", "Homer FBI Negotiator", "Email Slip-Ups", "Negotiating Win Anything", "Bar Association Voter", "California Top Trial", "USC Guest Class".

Facts

1. FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss breaks down the secrets to getting anything you want in business and life.
2. Tom Girardi, a top trial attorney in California, uses a gentle approach to get what he wants in negotiations.
3. The key to successful negotiations is to give the other side the illusion of control.
4. Being demanding in a negotiation is a way of expressing importance and respect.
5. Email evidence is often a downfall in lawsuits, so Tom Girardi never puts anything in emails.

Trends

1. Create a negotiation guidebook or online course that incorporates the 6 SNEAKY SECRETS discussed in the video and offers strategies on how to implement them in business and life.

2. Develop a series of webinars hosted by Chris Voss and other experts on the art of negotiation and how to use the 6 SNEAKY SECRETS to your advantage.

3. Create a podcast series featuring interviews with successful negotiators and business leaders who discuss their own experiences of using the 6 SNEAKY SECRETS to their advantage.

4. Design a mobile app that teaches users how to effectively use the 6 SNEAKY SECRETS in their negotiations. The app could include interactive features such as quizzes, tips, and advice from the experts.

5. Create an online course in partnership with Tom Girardi that goes into depth about his method of negotiation and how to use the 6 SNEAKY SECRETS to your advantage. The course could include video tutorials and step-by-step instructions.

Source

This learning instructional guidance was formulated using the GPT-3 language model created by OpenAI.

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Negotiation isn't a battle - it's an art. Get insight into how to win any exchange from former FBI negotiator & best-selling author, Chris Voss. #Negotiation #ChrisVoss #Business #Winning #Leadership #Collaboration #EmotionalIntelligence ? @Accredicity

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